Saturday, September 04, 2010

World To End on October 21, 2011

Well, that's what it says in this tract put out by the eBible Fellowship that I found taped to one of the support pillars underneath the elevated tracks at the Hicksville train station this past Wednesday. How can we be sure that the world will come to an end on October 21, 2011? Because it says so in the Bible! And the author of the tract declares that "The Bible is the Word of God! Everything the Bible declares has the full authority of God Himself."

For openers, I guess this puts a damper on Barack Obama's chances of being re-elected in 2012.

But before the world ends on October 21, 2011, the pamphlet declares that we will first experience Judgment Day on May 21, 2011. This might be what that taxi driver was referring to on that February morning in 2009 when my family and I were being driven to JFK Airport for our vacation in Puerto Rico.

And what will happen on Judgment Day? It will set in motion a five-month period in which a "period of horrible torment will begin for all of the inhabitants of the earth." Gee, I thought the period of torment would start this coming November if the Republicans capture majorities in both houses of Congress.

On May 21, 2011, "God will raise up all of the dead that have ever died from their graves." No mention about people who were cremated or eaten by alligators or sharks. "Earthquakes will ravage the whole world as the earth will no longer conceal its dead." Wow, talk about bringing out your dead!

"People who died as saved individuals will experience the resurrection of their bodies and immediately leave this world to be forever with the Lord." If God abides in a non-physical environment, then why would a resurrection of physical bodies be necessary?

"Those who die unsaved will be raised up as well, but only to have their lifeless bodies scattered about the face of all the earth. Death will be everywhere." Again, what if I am cremated and my ashes scattered before May 21, 2011?

I have to say, I just love that whoever is putting out this tract is so absolutely confident as to cite specific dates in the near future when these apocalyptic events will supposedly occur. I would love to see what these people will have to say when they wake up on October 22, 2011 and the world will still be here.

The pamphlet contains other amusing and interesting information. Most Young Earth Creationists cite a roughly 6,000 year old Earth. However, the folks at the eBible Fellowship set the Creation in 11,013 B.C., with the demise of the Earth predicted "13,023 years from creation."

And how can we know this to be true? Because "[t]he genealogies of the book of Genesis... can be shown to be a precise calendar of the history of mankind in this world. The Bible 's calendar of history is completely accurate and trustworthy." After all, "[s]ince this Bible calendar is given by God in His Word, it can be trusted wholeheartedly." Gotta love that circular reasoning.

What always cracks me up about these End Times people is their belief that our little speck of a planet in one galaxy in a universe filled with billions of galaxies is some kind of central battlefield in a cosmic struggle between the forces of Good and Evil. The human origins of their belief systems is betrayed by the geocentric bias inherent in their theology. A being that creates a universe filled, as previously mentioned, with billions of galaxies that themselves contain untold billions of planets orbiting their own stars operates according to an Earth based calendar system measured in Earth days, Earth months, and Earth years. And of course, nothing preoccupies this immensely powerful and intelligent being more than the mundane affairs of the human inhabitants of this one planet during a tiny sliver of time on a timescale of billions of years.

Anyway, mark your calendar for my blog post on May 22, 2011 when I write about the Judgment Day that never happened.

8 comments:

K.Bauer said...

Well, the shame of it being is that I always thought that October was a bad luck month. Everyone I know died in October, even my pets!

So, it's not surprising, really.
I kind of long for it.

Tommykey said...

Wow, a fellow fan of Amethystium, Enigma and Hans Zimmer. Tell me you're into Delirium too!

Renshia said...

I know a guy that that is 7day advent. They believe the world ends 12/21/2012. When he told me about it I asked if I could have his truck after he is gone. He got quite mad about my asking for some reason.

I plan on showing up on 12/22 to get his truck. When I see him I plan on asking if it was just him that got left behind or everyone.

Hopefully I won't get there and find him hanging in a tree.

the chaplain said...

I plan on showing up on 12/22 to get his truck. When I see him I plan on asking if it was just him that got left behind or everyone.

LOL! Good luck with that. Let us know how it turns out.

the chaplain said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brandy said...

I don't know about you guys but personally I am sick to death of these doomsday predictions. It seems like every freaking five seconds someone sets a new date for the world to be destroyed. Aaargh! Shut up already! What's the rush anyway?

Anonymous said...

IM fucking scared im shaking im sick of this im like throwing up !

Montag said...

It's about time.