Thursday, November 09, 2006

Ban Celebrity Marriage

We hear constantly from religious fundamentalists and cultural conservatives that gay marriage is a threat to the traditional family and demeans the true meaning of marriage. As a happily married heterosexual, I fail to see how allowing two people of the same gender who love each other to marry threatens my marriage, so I must emphatically disagree.

Rather, I would submit that what really demeans the institution of marriage in this country is celebrity marriage. Just in the last couple of weeks we have read about the separation of Reese Witherspoon from Ryan Philippe. And now we have Britney Spears filing for divorce from Kevin Federline. Keep in mind that both of these separations involve children.

But to this day, my favorite example of bizarre Hollywood relationships was when Jeff Goldblum split from Geena Davis to hook up with Laura Dern, who had been with crappy filmaker Renny Harlin, who ended up hooking up with Geena Davis. Now if only we could get Harlin to direct a movie starring Goldblum, Dern and Davis.

Anyway, I hereby propose that the United States Congress pass, and President Bush sign into law, a bill that would ban celebrity marriages. No more would the sacred institution of marriage be profaned by these self absorbed celebrities who change spouses like they change their wardrobes. It is time to put a stop to it! Write your congressional representatives now and let's begin to make marriage in America mean something again.

(No Shoprite customers were harmed while writing this post.)


Dani Kekoa said...

Come on! Hollywood marriages don't count - we all know they never last more than three years anyway.

I agree - we should ban celebrity marriages. If anyone is mocking traditional marriages, it's the whores in Hollywood.


Sable Chicken said...

"Write your congressional representatives now and let's begin to make marriage in America mean something again."

Bravo Tommy

Tommykey said...

I would add that Rush Limbaugh should not be allowed to get married anymore either. Just like in baseball, "three strikes and you're out!"

Besides, if a guy has been divorced three times, that should be a major red flag for any lady contemplating being Mrs. Limbaugh #4. You know he has to be a real dick as a husband if he has been divorced three times.

Sable Chicken said...

I have never been a Rush Limbaugh fan....too arrogant.

Stardust said...

It's not just Hollywood. And it seems to be just as rampant in the regular world. And xians seem to have a big problem with high divorce rates despite making promises and committments before their god. That to me, is a bigger mockery of marriage and committment than Hollywood "heathens" (where it is not surprising and almost's hard to be in show biz and keep a relationship together. My daughter is a professional musician and with all the traveling makes it nearly impossible to make time for someone else. No she is not married, nor has she been married.)

Most of our divorced friends and relatives are xians. My husband's brother, who went to seminary and almost became a pastor and who is a firm believer has been divorced and remarried three times.

My husband and I have sat through so many second and third wedding ceremonies where people say the same vows stating "what god has joined together let no one put asunder" and we look at each other and roll our eyes at that part! We make secret bets on how long it will last "this time".

My Baptist aunt has been divorced a couple of times. My father's Baptist parents were divorced and my father's father ran off and left her to raise 7 kids all by herself, while on the other hand, my mother's "heathen" parents were married for 36 years till my grandmother died and they loved each other very much.

My sister is dating a divorced man and they go to church together...and the ex wife goes to the same church.(He just "fell out of love" with his wife.) Our best friends from our younger years became holy rollers a couple of decades ago and apparently despite Jeebus being in their lives, their marriage crumbled and they are off with other people. (He is separated for the second time and a second divorce is looming despite his still proclaimed love of gawd and jeebus.)

Our good friends' son was married in May and it was annulled a couple months later (They kept the thousands of dollars in wedding gifts.)They are Lutherans.

So, it's not just Hollywood...they are just in the spotlight. And it's rampant in xian churches just like everywhere else. I can see where there would be circumstances to justify divorce...however, most just don't wnat to try, they forget their vows and when the going gets tough, they give up. Marriage is work, and too many just don't want to work that hard to keep it together. And Lawd knows, ain't no skydaddy going to hold things together!

On the other hand, there have been long term Hollywood marriages...Sophia Loren and Carlo Ponti...over 50 years, Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward 48 years, just for a couple of examples. There are lots more. Long lasting Hollywood and celebrity marriages just aren't spicy enough to make the "news".

As for the real world, my hubby and I...(we who are evil atheists)...just celebrated 31 years!

Marriage will only mean something in America again when people from all walks of life will actually treat the committment of marriage seriously. If people go into it thinking they can just get a divorce if things get to difficult, then why get married at all. Just live together.

Tommykey said...

When I took the marriage law section in my paralegal program, I remember the instructor telling us the laws are all wrong. Rather than making it easy to get married and hard to get divorced, they should make it hard to get married and easy to get a divorce.

Of course, my post was made in jest. Rather than banning celebrities from getting married, I would charge them a fine for every divorce after the first one and use the proceeds to fund orphanages or battered women's shelters or something good like that.

Stardust said...

Of course, my post was made in jest.

tommy - I realize your post was in jest ;) My comment was mainly in response to dani's remark about Hollywood "mocking traditional marriages."

I wasn't very surprised by the news about Britney Spears divorce. I wonder if she just wanted babies but didn't want them to be "illegitimate".

Personally, I don't know how any Hollywood actor/celebrity can have a normally functioning marriage or relationship. They are away from each other a lot, on the road, working long hours, paparazzi stalking them and their family members, and then the parties and gatherings they "must" make a showing to. No wonder so many celebrity kids are screwed up.

Then when some like Zza Zza Gabor and Elizabeth Taylor marry and divorce umpteen times, it becomes absurd.

None333333 said...

Great post. What's sad is that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie make millions of $$$ for the tabloids - what if people spent those millions helping poor the African children that Brad and Angelina have been trying to help.

I actually sponsored an African children's monthly program after seeing an interview w/Brad. But the tabloids don't get a dime of my $$$.

And Brad and Angelina aren't even married yet. More drama for the tabloids in store!

Stardust said...

Great post. What's sad is that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie make millions of $$$ for the tabloids - what if people spent those millions helping poor the African children that Brad and Angelina have been trying to help.

MQM - I agree. I hate the tabloids. I refuse to support those rags. I don't understand how people can even stand to read them. My mother buys them and tries to give them to me and I don't even want them for free. If people would stop buying them, then they wouldn't have a market.

Tommykey said...

If I were dictator of America, I would ban all of those magazines and papparazzi photographers would get the death sentence. Oh, if only...

Anonymous said...

On the bright side: Britney Spears dumps trailer trash husband Kevin Federline.

I don't give two shits one way or the other about Spears herself, but it's so goregasmic to watch 'K-Fed' execute the richly deserved pratfall he set himself up for. BUH BYE FED-EX

The Ridger, FCD said...

Don't look for Brad and Angelina to get married anytime soon - unless they emigrate.

But the rank hypocrisy of people complaining about gay marriage threatening "traditional" marriage, when they're on their 3rd or 4th is enough to make me puke. Something about motes and beams comes to my mind...

I have always said, take the civil contract out of the sacred rite. You have to do both anyway - well, you do if you want your "sacred rite marriage" to be legal. So just rewrite the contract law, and tell the churches (all of them) that they can marry whoever they like - and refuse to marry whoever they like - but the state washes its hands of them.

Anonymous said...

You tell them!! Celebs should NEVER be married and there should be a law forbidding them to marry. If I was a priest, I'd NEVER marry ANY celebs!!