Friday, September 12, 2008

My Fatwa

A number of news outlets have picked up on the story of "Saudi Arabia's top judiciary official [who] has issued a religious decree saying it is permissible to kill the owners of satellite TV networks that broadcast immoral content." I think that is a bit harsh, though maybe the geniuses who inflicted all of those Pauly Shore movies on us deserve some form of retributive violence.

According to the 79-year-old sheikh cited in the story, "satellite channels cause the 'deviance of thousands of people.'"

"Al-Lihedan is chief of the kingdom's highest tribunal, the Supreme Judiciary Council. Saudi Arabia's judiciary is made up of Islamic clerics whose decrees, or fatwas, on everyday issues are widely respected. Their fatwas do not have the weight of law. In the courts, cleric-judges rule according to Islamic law, but interpretations can vary."

The article also notes that Al-Lihedan had previously issued a decree declaring that it was permissible for Saudis to fight against American military forces in Iraq. While I was against the decision to invade Iraq, I hope that any Saudis who took up the sheikh's advice found themselves on the fast track to Allah.

Personally, I am getting sick of these sheikhs and imams saying it is permissible to kill this person or that person because they don't like what that person said or wrote. If Allah is pissed off about it, then let Allah strike the person dead with a bolt of lightning or something. Of course, we all know that's not going to happen because there is no Allah.

Anyway, I think it is time to teach these people a lesson. I mean, I'm a tolerant, peace loving guy, but that does not obligate me to extend tolerance to the intolerant. Therefore, I hereby announce my first fatwa and declare that it is permissible to kill Sheikh Saleh al-Lihedan and any other cleric who issues a fatwa declaring that it is permissible to kill someone simply because they don't like what that person is saying or doing.

Of course, I don't expect anyone to carry out my fatwa. It's just a matter of reciprocity. Besides, given the sheikh's age, one can hope that he will kick off before long.


Anonymous said...

So... you're issuing a fatwa against fatwas?

karat said...

I lol'd.

This is the main problem with Muslims - they're too defensive. I have to work on this as well, and I still have a long way to go.

Tommy said...

Hey Brian. No, I am not issuing a fatwa against fatwas. I am issuing a fatwa against those who issue fatwas calling for death of other people for "thought crimes." If they issued a fatwa calling for Muslims to boycott satellite tv stations for immoral content, then I certainly wouldn't begrudge them the right to do so.

Don't worry Karat, I know you will get there! :-)

Harry Nads said...

Why doesn't the cleric just say that Muslims cannot watch satellite television? Much more peaceful. Otherwise, you will have psychotic Muslims watching channels they never watched before just so they can find a reason to kill. Idiotic.

Tommy said...

Easy Harry, if you kill one or two of them, then the rest of them will cave in and change their programming to something more Islamic friendly.