Saturday, June 21, 2008

Jeebus Folk At My Door

It's Saturday morning and barely a half hour ago I was laying in bed with my beautiful wife cuddling and talking, when the door bell rings.

"Oh shit!" I grumbled as I got up and made my way to the front door. I peeped through the door and saw two ladies and knew immediately what I was in for.

I opened the door, and on my stoop was an Indian looking woman and a couple of steps down stood a black woman leaning on the hand rail.

"I hope you are having a good morning" the Indian woman greeted me. By her accent, I surmised she might be Guyanese, as most of these Jehovah Witness types who haunt my neighborhood tend to be of Caribbean origin.

"Well, I was," I replied.

The Indian lady started to go into her spiel. She reached into her shoulder bag to pull out a pamphlet and says something along the lines of, "A lot of people are full of despair with the way things are going in the world these days and they are afraid for the future."

"Well, I'm actually quite optimistic about the future," I interjected. She started to say something, but I didn't pay much attention and continued, "Because I am an atheist."

If memory serves, she started to say something about, "Well, the Bible says there is hope..."

I shot back, "Listen lady, the Bible talks about the destruction of the world. That doesn't sound too optimistic to me."

"Well, the Bible says there will be some survivors," she replied somewhat meekly. I got a chuckle out of that. Some survivors?

I decided to wrap things up with the we're gonna have to agree to disagree spiel. I was satisfied with the kick in the ass I had just given to her telling her that her religious belief requires war and destruction. But as she and her companion were turning away and heading down my walkway to the sidewalk, I fired off one last parting shot: "It's all a bunch of mythology and nonsense!"

And then it was back to the bed to tell my wife what had just happened.

8 comments:

Stardust said...

Good for you, Tommy! We all need to start speaking up instead of just slamming the door in their faces. They need to hear what we have to say...we need to plant those little seeds of doubt every chance we get.

Religious folks are so full of gloom and doom. They think the worst, they focus on the negatives about the world and humanity and instead of actually doing something to make the wrongs of this world right, they go door knockin' and spewing our some memorized baloney and think they are doing something and then can strut around self-righteously.

I hate door knockers and am so glad that our village has banned door-to -door soliciting of any kind. However, they still come with their door hangers, which I don't even bring inside and take directly to my recycle bin. All the time they spend going door to door they could be out feeding homeless people, cleaning up the roadways and helping to build shelters for battered women and children, centers for the runaways. They think that since a few are doing that, they don't have to. But if they all did it then they would really be able to do something about poverty and starvation.

Start a petition going to ban door to door soliciting.

When it went before the village council here there were many good reasons for it and the village couldn't deny it:

Door to door soliciting of candy etc is dangerous in this day and age with all the pedophilia, kidnapping and murder. You never know whose door you are knocking at.

It's a disruption of privacy.

Trespassing.

Could pose a problem if they get hurt on your property...they most definitely would sue your ass off.

They could break something on your property.

They could upset your pets who are home alone. (Here in our town, a Rottweiler that was home alone jumped through a plate glass window and was fatally injured because of persistent door knocker)

And there are many, many more, and our village saw the reasons were in favor of banning the door to door bullcrap.

Life on Saturday mornings is so much better the past few years.

vjack said...

Outstanding! I'm always up early, but I would be enraged if I was actually required to get out of bed to deal with that crap. This door-to-door evangelizing really should not be tolerated. They have their right to believe as they want but not to do so on my property.

Tommy said...

Yeah, normally I just tell them I am not interested and politely shoo them off. But I was annoyed at being disturbed when I was spending quality time with the wife so I not inclined to make them feel comfortable.

tina FCD said...

My son Larry used to tell them, "hang on, I'll go get my cup of coffee." He liked to discuss religion with them. For a long time after that, they didn't come back. Lol!

Tommy said...

The next time I get any such visitors, I am just going to flat out ask them "What are you hoping to accomplish by coming to my house?" Then I will let their answer be the launching point for the discussion.

Andrea said...

You'd think we get more of that in Texas, but we haven't so far. Just people bothering us to buy pest control or security alarm services. Normally I'm polite but part of me wants to go all super-atheist-bitch on someone who would disturb me with their religious crap at my front door.

I really didn't appreciate pictures of their bloody crucifixion guy at Easter time stuck in our door. I think that was a Baptist church. But we also got another flier at the same time from a more feel-good kinda megachurch, and you could hardly tell they were 'Christian' at all from that ad. I mean, you could, but it was the nonconfrontational, nicely suburban kind.

Helie! said...

Just last week, I was at the boardwalk with my dad and some of his friends, and a couple of people walked up and started handing out tracts.

"Have you accepted Jesus into your life? Do you know that you're going to heaven?" (proselytizer)
"Yes, in fact, I just booked a buy-two-get-one-free deal on Yahoo! Travel for Heaven. It was pretty cheap, too. $150 for one-way, but I got a $200 round-trip because I'm a Hindu and I'll be reincarnated." (my dad)
*later*
"Well, he asks me a bullshit question, I give him a bullshit answer." (my dad)

That last statement just about summed up how I feel about those people!

Stardust said...

Hubby saw a sign yesterday in front of a Baptist church...it said "Come and see the magical world of Science". He wanted to stop and go inside. ;-)