The Cabbie For Christ

With all my posts about my family vacation to Puerto Rico, I had to find some way to slip in a religion/atheism angle, being this is a primarily atheist themed blog.

Because our flight for Puerto Rico last Sunday was scheduled to fly out of JFK at 7:30 A.M., it made more sense to take a taxi to the airport rather than ride the LIRR in the cold and darkness to Jamaica Station to catch the Air Train.

My wife called the taxi company and our driver was literally there like 5 minutes later. As my wife used to take the taxi home from the train station before we got a second car, the cab driver was a man that she knew.

He was quite a gregarious fellow, and he was talking with my wife who was seated behind him about the latest developments in his life. It didn't take him long before he dropped this bombshell:

"A couple of months ago I became a born again Christian! All this time, I was looking for God, but it was God who found me!" I could barely suppress a groan.

It turns out the guy was raised Jewish and had been having a crisis of faith or something, so his mom pushed him to go to Israel, which would supposedly reconnect him with his Jewish roots.

"Who would have guessed," he declared, "that a Jewish man would become a Christian by going to Israel."

It was my wife however, who astutely guessed the real reason. She asked him if he had met a girl.

"Yes, I did," he replied. "She was the daughter of a missionary."

It turned out that they had since broken up, but are apparently still on good terms. From there, he proceeded to blab about the Jews and the Catholics getting it all wrong, and then rambling something about a section of Romans being banned in Canada. I had guessed that what he was driving at was some verse or other that condemned homosexuality. As my two young children were sitting in the back seat, I said, "I would prefer that you don't talk about this in front of my kids."

"Sure, no problem!" he cheerfully complied. He also made mention of some Christian radio station he listened to that had all kinds of important things to say about the future, and he mentioned some date in March or May of 2010 or 2011, I can't remember which, in which something really profound would happen.

As much as I was tempted to take the Cabbie for Christ to task for some of the things he said or ask him what he would do if nothing happened on the date he mentioned, as he was zipping along the parkway in the darkness of the predawn hour, my primary concern was that my family and I make it to JFK safely. The last thing I wanted was for the guy to get into a traffic accident because he was distracted by the argumentative atheist in the passenger seat. Afterwards, my wife said to me that she was surprised that I had kept quiet, and I explained to her why.

The El Conquistador Resort in Puerto Rico

In making the decision as to where to stay during our vacation in Puerto Rico, I picked the El Conquistador in Fajardo because (1) I decided that on our first visit to Puerto Rico we would see the north east corner of the island, and (2) the El Conquistador seemed like a family friendly place.

For the most part, we enjoyed our stay at the El Conquistador. Our children liked the water park and my wife and son liked Palomino Island. The resort was in close proximity to El Yunque and the bioluminescent lagoon, which were two highlights of the trip.

The El Conquistador itself is a sprawling resort, and according to my Insight Guide, was at some point in the past a Maharishi University. My family stayed in the section of the resort called Las Olas, which in retrospect is probably the worst place to stay in the resort. The room itself was pretty nice and spacious, and we had a great view from our balcony. The problem with the Las Olas section was the location.

In the picture above, taken from the ferry as we were headed for Palomino Island, Las Olas is mostly obscured by the marina section, except for the scalloped roof. Las Olas and the marina were physically separated from the main part of the resort, which was set on the hill above. The only way to get to the main section was to take a tram car called a funicular to the top of the hill. There were actually two funicular tracks, an express track that went directly from the main resort to the marina, and a local that also stopped at Las Olas. The problem was, if you wanted to go from Las Olas to the top level, and you just missed the funicular as it was headed to the top, you would have to wait for the funicular to come back to Las Olas, go down to the marina, then back up to Las Olas before proceeding back up to the main level. Another option would be to go down the stairs to the marina level to catch the express funicular to the top level. Once you finally arrive at the top stop on the funicular, it was then a long walk and an elevator ride to get to the main lobby area where all the restaurants were and where you boarded the buses to go on the trips.

Another problem with Las Olas was that it was not very well maintained. In particular, the carpets in the hallway were noticeably worn and stained, and the building looked like it was in need of some serious overhaul. A number of reviewers at Tripadvisor.com made the same observation.

As I mentioned in another post, the El Conquistador is also incredibly expensive, especially the restaurants. While the food was good for the most part, considering that they were banging us on average $150 per dinner for the four of us, it should have been better than good. That being said, the staff were nearly all friendly and accomodating, with the exception of one girl who manned the ice cream and sandwich window at the El Caribe during the evening hours.

I had heard from a number of people, including our guide on the El Yunque rainforest tour that there were a lot of layoffs recently and that business is down at the resort due to the economy. The guide said that the week we were there was the first week where they had full attendance for the tour. Likely, that was due to the fact that the public schools were closed for the week and parents such as myself had the opportunity to take the family on a vacation without missing school.

I was also surprised by the number of fellow New Yorkers staying at the resort, including a family whose daughter attended the same kindergarten as our daughter. We also ran into the daughter of my uncle's second wife.

We plan on visiting Puerto Rico again at some point in the near future. For the next visit, I envision that we will start at the north west corner of the island, around Aguadilla, then make our way east to Arecibo and then San Juan so that we have the chance to stroll through Old San Juan at a more leisurely pace without having to worry about getting back in time to a tour bus. As for the El Conquistador, I don't expect that we will stay there again. If you are contemplating spending time in north eastern Puerto Rico, and you don't mind spending a lot of money, you might want to stay at the El Conquistador. There are steps you can take to reduce your costs, such as bringing your own water and juice for the kids, and researching local restaurants outside of the resort that serve good food at an affordable price. While I was not impressed with the Las Olas wing of the resort, I didn't really see much of the rooms in the other parts of the resort, so perhaps they are nicer as well as being more conveniently located.

El Yunque and Coqui Water Park

Monday, the 16th, was our first full day in Puerto Rico. We started off the day with a trip to the El Yunque tropical rain forest. Because we had two small kids with us, my wife and I had to opt for the easy tour that did not involve much walking, though at a couple of points we did have to make our way up and down some narrow, rocky paths. It was a very nice trip though, and my kids seemed to enjoy it.

The pool in the background in the photo above was built in the 1930's by the Civilian Conservation Corps. It was used as a public swimming pool until 1975.

I had a hard time getting a shot of the Walking Stick insect on the leaf hanging down in the center of the picture above. The other shots came out really blurry for some reason, and this one was the best I got.

This shot was taken from near the Yokahu Observation Tower, though not from the tower itself. The view is towards the north east corner of the island, and if you can magnify the picture, you just might be able to make out the El Conquistador resort. Unfortunately, I don't seem to have gotten a shot of El Yunque from the resort. It really looms large and mysterious over the north east corner of Puerto Rico, and its peak is often shrouded in mist. Looking up at it, I can understand why so many cultures believed that the gods dwelled at the tops of mountains.

After we got back to the El Conquistador, we spent the afternoon at the resort's signature attraction, the Coqui Water Park. It's not all that big, but it had several really good water slides, and my kids enjoyed floating around the Lazy River on a tube.

Day Trip to Old San Juan

On Tuesday morning, we went on a day trip through the resort to Old San Juan. I was looking forward to seeing the old forts and my wife was eager to do some window shopping. Unfortunately, because someone who shall remain nameless took so long to get ready, we were unable to eat breakfast before the bus was ready to leave at 9:00 a.m. Thus, when we arrived at Plaza Colon in Old San Juan around an hour later, we had to find a place to eat breakfast, which burned up nearly an hour. The closest fort was the massive complex of San Cristobal, which we arrived at around 11:00 a.m.

This is an inner wall at San Cristobal that overlooks an outer wall. Thus, if an attacking army managed to breach the outer wall, they would still find themselves facing these ramparts, which in its heyday would have been bristling with cannons.

The fortress of El Morro at the tip of Old San Juan, as seen from San Cristobal. Unfortunately, we did not have time to visit El Morro. After we were done at San Cristobal around 1:00 p.m., we ate lunch at some restaurant on Calle Fortaleza. The next thing we knew, it was nearly 2:30, and we needed to get back to Plaza Colon before 3:00 p.m. for the van ride back to the El Conquistador. El Morro and the rest of Old San Juan will have to wait for another visit to Puerto Rico.

San Cristobal as seen from Plaza Colon.

This is a school near Plaza Colon that I photographed because I liked the architectural style of the building.

The Christopher Columbus statue in Plaza Colon, honoring a man whose discovery of Puerto Rico was the catalyst for the destruction of the native Tainos on the island.

The Bioluminescent Experience

One of the main attractions around Fajardo is a nighttime kayak outing into a lagoon near the Cabezas de San Juan Nature Preserve at the northeastern tip of Puerto Rico. The waters of the lagoon and the path through the mangroves to the lagoon are filled with bioluminescent dinoflagellates that light up when moved, either by the blades of your kayak paddle, the wind, or drops of rain falling on the waters. I got to do this on the evening of Tuesday, the 17th. It was really cool, particularly when the canopy of the mangrove forest blocked out the light and enhanced the bioluminescence. Besides slashing the paddle blades through the water to light it up, I also achieved a sparking effect by splashing the water off the paddles onto the surface.

This was probably my favorite part of the trip, though sadly I had to experience it without the rest of my family. Since I did not know if the paddling would be strenuous beforehand or what the conditions would be like, I was reluctant to take my children on a trip that they might not want to endure, and I couldn't take my wife, otherwise, there would be no one to watch the children. In retrospect though, they probably could have all handled it.

If anyone reading this is planning on staying at the El Conquistador and wants to go on the bioluminescent kayaking trip, DO NOT book the trip through El Conquistador, as they will charge you twice the price. I was fortunate enough to have read about this while researching for the trip. The El Conquistador charges its guests about $89.00 per person. However, if you walk north for about ten minutes along the back road that hugs the shoreline, you will come upon a park in Las Croabas where the various kayak companies are lined up, with most of them charging as little as $45.00 per person. As I did not have reservations, I walked up to each outfit and inquired if they could fit me in and was told they were all booked, until I came upon the one furthest away manned by a guy who works for Eco Action Tours. He had plenty of availability and was happy to accomodate me. Another outfit that offers the tour for $45.00 is Kayaking Puerto Rico.

The group turned out to be rather small actually, a young Puerto Rican couple, and a nice Indian family of four from upstate New York. Because the largest kayaks held a maximum of three persons, their son, about 5 or 6, rode with the guide, while the daughter, about 10, rode with the parents. Unfortunately, the husband and wife did not have any kayaking experience, as they showed up dressed in plain clothes and didn't even have any kind of dry bag for their camera. However, I asked the company rep if he had a dry bag he could loan them and he did, so they were able to take their camera. Also, unfortunately, the husband and wife couldn't paddle very well either, as I observed that they were unable to synchronize their paddling. Consequently, by the time we had entered the mangrove forest, they had fallen far behind us. The guide ended up going back to them, taking their daughter in his kayak along with their son, and then tying their kayak to his.

The rest of the trip proceeded rather smoothly, until a kayaker from another group returning from the lagoon crossed over to our side of the pathway in the mangroves and collided with me, temporarily separating me from my group. Otherwise, the only time the paddling became somewhat difficult was in the lagoon, which got rather choppy as we headed back towards the mangrove. After that, it got quite easy, as the current was in our favor. In fact, the water was so calm that for a little while I was actually handling the paddle with one hand. The Indian man took the picture of me above with my camera and I happily reciprocated and took pictures of them with their camera. All in all it was a nice trip and I would have liked to have done it again with my family, but the weather the following two nights was not favorable. Perhaps on a future trip to Puerto Rico!

Lost In Translation

I got a kick out of this sign at the El Conquistador.

Expedition to Palomino Island

One of the attractions offered by the El Conquistador resort is that it has its own private little island called Palomino Island (or, Isla Palominos for you Spanish speakers!) just offshore from the resort, which we visited on Wednesday, the 18th. It's close enough that you can make out the El Conquistador across the water in the center of the picture above. In fact, I was surprised at how close many of the neighboring islands were. Puerto Rico's eastern islands of Culebra and Vieques were in easy view, and on a clear day, it was possible to glimpse the island of Saint Thomas beyond Culebra.

Overall, we had a nice time on Palomino, though my snorkelling excursion was disappointing and frustrating. First off, the coral formations were so close to the surface that it was impossible to swim over them, as I feared that I would scrape my legs against them. I would end up having to back up and look for a gap I could swim over. Then, on the return swim back to the beach I came up against a strong current that really wore me out. At one point, a staff member came up to me on a jet ski and asked me if I needed assistance. I decline the offer, and after resting for a few minutes, I was able to make my way back to shore.

Your friendly neighborhood iguana.

The kids and yours truly wearing his favorite t-shirt.

My wife as swimsuit fashion model. Almost every day she was bugging me to take pictures of her wearing one of the three new bathing suits she bought for the trip.

My "honeybuns".

The Highlight of Our Last Full Day in Puerto Rico

Thursday the 19th was our last full day at the El Conquistador. Truth be told, we could have just as well flown home that day, as we had done just about everything we had set out to do. My wife and my son wanted to go back to Palomino Island, which we did, but we had barely gotten to the island and commenced refortifying an abandoned sand castle when the already hazy, cloud covered sky unleashed its rain upon us. As the resort ferry docked at the pier, there began a hasty exodus of the majority of the guests present on the island, including us.

After drying off and getting dressed in our room, we made for the Cafe Bella Vista for lunch. After eating, my wife wandered off to one of the shops while my kids and I went outside to explore parts of the resort we had not seen before. When we returned to the main lobby, I heard a loud drum beating and a whistle blowing. I saw a group of men dressed in white playing some instruments as they walked through the lobby. Then I saw what was in front of them, a troupe of lovely, feathered dancing ladies.

At one point, the dancing ladies were pulling guys out of the audience to dance with them. One of them, the yellow feathered one if IIRC, reached out to me, but I declined, as my wife was not around to take a picture of me with her. However, I did get a nice shot of my kids with the purple garbed one. The yellow feathered one was the best dancer of the four and appeared to be the leader, but for sheer eye candy (and I hope in advance I am not offending any of my female readers), my favorite was the tall one who appears in the middle in the top picture. She wuz smokin' hot! I tried to get a better picture of her, but my efforts were in vain. Just when I would get a good focus on her, she would turn and face a different direction. After several failed attempts, I gave up as I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable.

After about 20 minutes or so had gone by, the dancing ladies and the band players took the show outside and entertained the diners at the Bella Vista. At that point, the ladies were starting to show their fatigue, as they started dapping the sweat off their faces with napkins and taking turns getting glasses of water. Shortly after they went outside we left, so I don't know how much longer the show went on. But the ladies did a fine job and were the high point of an otherwise waste of a day.

Water That Will Cost You An Arm And A Leg

These bottles were standing conspicuously over the refrigerator located in the bathroom of our room. I expect that resorts such as the El Conquistador will be a bit on the expensive side, but $7.00 for a bottle of water? You would really have to be desperately thirsty to twist off the caps of one of these, given that bottled water can be purchased for much less at any of the shops at the resort.

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?

At the Cafe Bella Vista, an open air eatery near the main pool of the El Conquistador, one cannot help but notice the large numbers of a local grackle that Puerto Ricans call a chango. These particular birds are quite brazen, swooping down on nearby tables to help themselves to scraps left behind by customers who departed only seconds earlier. Anyone who reads this who has stayed at the El Conquistador will undoubtedly remember the changos.

Parting Shot From Puerto Rico

I couldn't leave Puerto Rico without getting a shot of the Kinky Condom Shop in Luquillo on the north side of the main road connecting Fajardo to San Juan. A little further east, on the south side of the ride was another similar establishment called Condom World. I was a little surprised to see these condom stores, given that Puerto Rico is majority Catholic and the Catholic Church's opposition to "artificial" methods of contraception is so well known.

I snapped this photo on the bus ride from the El Conquistador Resort back to Luis Munoz Marin International Airport to catch our flight home.

* I am writing my posts on our Puerto Rico vacation in reverse chronological order so that they can be read in chronological order by scrolling down.